Too funny not to post...

The whole citing may be found here.

"Santa Claus
From Dickipedia - A Wiki of Dicks
Santa Claus (also known as Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle, and Santa) is a historical, legendary and mythical figure and a dick.

In Western cultures, Santa Claus is thought of as bringing gifts on Christmas day, or, as it’s now known, The Day Before The Day After Christmas Sales.

The modern depiction of Santa Claus as a fat man wearing a red coat and pants with white cuffs and collar, and black leather belt and boots was not based on Rush Limbaugh. Rather, it was popularized in the United States in the 19th century drawings of political cartoonist Thomas Nast. It has since become the basis for a notable number of bad movies starring Tim Allen.

One legend associated with Santa holds that he lives in a land of perpetual snow. The American version of Santa Claus lives at the North Pole, while Father Christmas is said to reside in Finland. Other legends say that he is married and lives with Mrs. Claus, while still another says that Santa and Mrs. Claus had a bitter separation over what Mrs. Claus said was a “serious drinking problem,” which Santa Claus maintained was just being “jolly.”

Many accounts of Santa Claus say that he delivers presents to all of the good boys and girls in the world in one night, and that he accomplishes this feat with the aid of magical elves who make the toys and the flying reindeer who pull his sleigh. Such a thing is, of course, preposterous, much like, say, a country invading another country that never attacked it and then being greeting as liberators. But myths such as these are entertaining to children, and, on occasion, adults, who are commonly known as “simpletons” or “half-wits.”

Many Christians are opposed to teaching children to believe in Santa Claus because the tradition detracts from the religious purpose of Christmas. Some Christians also believe there is a so-called “War On Christmas.” This refers to what the Christians believe is an organized effort, led mostly by Jews, to deny the Christians the right to celebrate Christmas as they wish, which mainly involves saying “Merry Christmas” to Jews, or, “being an a-hole.”

Though there is some debate about what leads someone to believe there is such thing “War on Christmas,” consensus is coalescing around the theory that it stems from watching “Fox News” while licking Chinese toys."

I laughed so hard I was crying...
HH