Tuesday, October 30, 2007

How did they find out?

It seems that every time I check my g-mail there are 15 new messages. Of course, 12 of them are spam; and the other three tend to be my DVD service notifying me that they have received the movies we sent back. The other 12, however, seem really motivated by the size of my Johnson.

Now, I don't know who may have referred these pushy folks in their attempts to have me buy substances which may, or may not, improve the surface area of certain organs; but I really would have rather they just stand in the urinal next to me and stare.

Speaking of urinals... I hate public restrooms. Doing my business while other people are hanging around just makes me nervous. Luckily I have identified the restrooms at work which have a small likelihood of being occupado. Hillcrest elementary school has the best. Just in case your in town and looking for a nice solitary place to whizz.

As far as genitals go... I wish that Americans were not, in general, so scared of theirs. Everything which suggests that sexual openness is okay or "normal" is shunned as liberal, and thus, worthy of poo-poing. The longer I am out of the mainstream, the less intelligent the mainstream appear to be. I like my genitals. I like others genitals too. I won't stare at the urinal, but I always hope that you are making the most of your personal time.

We are such a prudish, self-righteous, nation. What happened to the old, "each to his own" philosophy? Why do some worry so much what "other" consenting adults are doing in the confines of thier own bedrooms? I'd be willing to bet good money that if religous leaders yanked their own chains a little more often, that they would worry less about how often I am yanking mine.

Now, if you will excuse me I have some personal business to take care of. Keep your eyes on the wall.

HH

3 comments:

shane said...

Hilarious. Yeah, apparently they've found out that mine has some deficiencies as well.

I don't mind if others are peeing in the same room with me, but I prefer not to have long meaningful (or un-meaningful) discussions until I'm through with my business.

Counterintuitive said...

Was thinking of American prudishness today when in my children's lit class we watching Miyazki's My Neighbor Totoro. There's a scene where the dad and his two young daughters are bathing (the mother is sick in the hospital) and in the first shot the girl is blocking the genitals of the dad because of the angle. I could hear audible "oh, mys" from the class.

We've perverted the beauty of the body and, I think, it comes mostly from the right but also the left (like imagine how a comment about the beauty of breasts would get you kicked in the nuts by a die-hard feminist). BTW I love breasts--their beautiful! Doesn't mean I'm going to do something inappropriate or that I do not respect women more for their intelligence, etc.

HH said...

Ron,
Exactly my point. Why can't eroticism be a normal and natural part of existence? IN fact, the most exciting part?
I really like breasts too. However, the simple outline of the feminine form makes my heart skip. It seems, to me, that the male form is just "utilitarian," and boring as hell.

There is prudism on both sides to be sure. I know hypocrisy exists on both sides as well. On the right, showing a little thigh while while claiming that if you "must" talk to liberals" there is a certain way. And, on the left, damn you for contributing to the exploitation of a "naive 18-year-old girl who chose to have sex while being paid, and watched" is poo-poohed. Both sides need to give the rest of us a break.

That is just the way it is in the Good 'ol U S of A. Beechh!.

HH