Saturday, February 16, 2008

Running in someone else's running shoes...

Putting on another pair of running shoes

It's not easy being a parent, consultant, spouse, or human (for that matter). I am often shortsighted and myopic in looking at circumstances as they occur. Sometimes I raise my voice when I ought not... sometimes I use condescension as a tool of manipulation... and, sometimes it just seems impossible to tolerate those who can't accept my correct opinions with the same rationalizations that I use. Go figure.

For example, just in the last 24 hours my spouse and I had a bit of a rough patch. One person said one thing... one person contradicted the other, and so on. IT escalated to a place of quiet discontent. VERY quiet discontent (if you know what I mean).

However, in the big scheme of things we both knew we would work it out. Why? We are just that kind of couple. We committed to this relationship, and we meant it. So, now we are lightly dancing around each other until one of us has the audacity to break the ice with a joke or sledgehammer (whichever is most convenient at the time). Sometimes the quiet is nice.

I wish (s)he understood me more. I wish (s)he got it. ;)

half of two is one-
happy---runner

7 comments:

Counterintuitive said...

a joke or a sledgehammer--I know all about that.

Just this past week, for the first time in our marriage, our pre-get-to-sleep-argument ended with her on the couch.

spontaneous expressions said...

I think I can speak with a lot of authority on this subject. I'm not sure what is worse, the quiet discontent or the less than quiet conflict. I think the commitment you talked about, that you will work it out eventually and this isn't the end of the world, that nothing is a deal breaker is a fascinating topic. I'd like to hear more about this and how to nurture this commitment. Any ideas? by the way...how did it end up? Sledgehammer or joke?

shane said...

So what's it like to have flaws--to be human? (wink)
I agree with all of your self-criticisms (smirk smirk), but I also know that your heart is in the right place, as does Angie, which is why I'm confident you'll work things out--as you always have.

But, yeah, doesn't it suck when other people can't see how right you are?

HH said...

Se,
Actually is was sledgehammer-like.

CI,
Sometimes I am saddened at how often married lives intersect.

Shane,
The irony is dripping from my computer screen. Good lord does your mind ever rest?! You are wrong damnit! Anarchy will never overcome greed and self-interest. Now.. tell a freakin' joke! ;)

HH =)

shane said...

Huh? I was being a little cheeky, maybe. But ironic?
And what does anarchy, greed, and self-interest have to do with anything? Where did that come from? Are YOU being ironic?

What I meant was 1) we're all human, so don't beat yourself up about it, and 2)you've both got good hearts, so I'm sure you'll work things out. I was being SINCERE!
Sheeesh, some people can't take a compliment (where have I heard that before? LOL).

HH said...

Shane,
I mis-wrote. I meant cheeky, not ironic. I saw the parallels of my situation with Dear Wife and our ongoing discussion of "realism" versus "Idealism." The comment about anarchy being unrealistic was just a snark, nothing more. Keep fighting to good fight my brilliant man.

Now... off to try to tackle your misconceptions about science, rationalism, and reductionism. ;)

Much love my brutha,
HH =)

Lisa said...

I can relate. If people would just realize I'm right and I'm smarter than they are immediately - instead of playing at the futile fighting thing - their worlds would be so much easier. I'm still trying to teach Jim about that.