It has been a busy week. The wife decided to try a "fund-raising" idea. She has spent the last 3 days at the county fair; sitting in the hot son; NOT selling her wares. Now, one might think, "hey she chose this stuff, its a learning opportunity. However, one would seriously underestimate the investment of her husbands time she makes in such endeavors.
After moving the freezer from Smithfield to Logan. It was Happy's responsibility to carry it to the booth, get the power on, and put the 34 boxes of "otter pops" in the freezer. Further, Happy must make up posters (on the wife's whims), transport the kids back-and-forth from home to Fair, take the wife lunch and dinner, and finally clean up and pack the freezer back to Smithfield.
I know its a "team" thing, but can anyone, anywhere, point to her equivalent jobs to mine? Of course not! I am smart enough to let those "fantastic opportunities" just drive right on by!
I was talking with my wife's grandmother. She is one of the world's most wonderful human beings (those who know her know exactly why). She asked why I did laundry, helped the wife with silly "fund-raising" ideas, did dishes, prepared most meals, and took half the responsibility for parenting. She stated that she was responsible for all the housework and parenting when she was raising children. She is what some of us might label a "good woman."
But, I think that progress has left some of us guys with a shorter end of the stick. I don't demand that the wife support my silly whims. I don't demand the the wife get up in the middle of the night to tend to a child's nightmare. If the dishes need cleaned I don't demand that she clean them. Being a 21st century guy may not be all that it's cracked up to be.
I often think of what it is like to have Shane's life: Drop everything and travel to a foreign country just for the heck of it; party with friends late into the night, have long discussions with mentors and students, look at a female with any feeling other than indifference, and just do what I want to do when I want to do it. Ahh the idea of unfettered freedom...
Yet... I wouldn't give up her gentle smile, the kids hugs early in the morning, shopping just for "them", sharing every idea with Mrs. Happy and anticipating her responses, etc. I see the changes in Lisa's, and Counterintuitive's lives, and see the adventure, and trouble that lay in each path.
How diverse we humans are. How difficult it is to understand what it means to truly walk in the "others" shoes. B.F. Skinner's Autobiography was entitled "The particulars of my life." I am beginning to understand that epiphany's of understanding lie in the details, and not in the crises of our lives. I am just beginning to understand that I am who I am because of the particulars of my short existence. "I ponder the vastness of the universe and see the smallness of mankind. And it makes me happy."-- Albert Einstein.
If only I had his insights into it all.
I am delighted to live vicariously through Shane's experiences (especially the latest ones). I am blessed... err... fortunate... to be effected by the lives of other special bloggers who articulate extraordinary experiences of their own. --- Good for me!
HH =)
3 comments:
Unfettered freedom? Do what I want to do when I want to do it? Yeah, that would be nice.
I like this: "I am beginning to understand that epiphanies of understanding lie in the details, and not in the crises of our lives."
The fact that you're so good at appreciating and respecting other people's lifestyles--rather than envying them--is a pretty clear sign of how content you are with your own "particulars". And a great personal quality to boot!
Having observed the phenomenon first-hand, HH, you are an awesome husband and father... but you're also an extremely compelling whole person. I have missed my involvement with you and your family, so I think it's particularly lovely that your blog lets me in, at least a little bit! Thanks for sharing your ideas on this blog and recounting the events of your - yes, eventful - life. I am jealous in many ways of that life.
And Shane... you may disagree, but from here, too, it seems that you do live a life of unfettered freedom these days. I enjoyed getting a little glimpse of that life last week and I hope you come to New York again soon... although don't tell any more stories of Sara catching squirrels; Jim still hasn't recovered. :)
I too like the same line that Shane cites--it's in the details not the crises. I might add that many of the "epiphanies" we have in the crises seems hopelessly stupid, once our lives are up and running, in the details of everyday exixtence.
Also I think you are a pretty rare 21st century married working guy. As you surely know most research (and much anecdotal evidence) indicates when both wife and husband are working, the wife picks up more/most of the 2nd shift. Maybe that's changing but it doesn't seem so.
Post a Comment