Made it!  Whew!  The weight of the world has fallen from my shoulders.  I LOVE being retired.  It is strangely familiar given that I have had Summers off for over 32 years.  However, I get to keep reminding myself that I do NOT have to return. Summer break just gets to keep going. 

    Growing up I did not live in a family with financial resources.  My parents are dependent on Social Security for their subsistence. I have NOT even calculated SS into my retirement plan.  It isn't needed.  I would rather, frankly, that those benefits go to people who have worked hard in their lives but have NOT been as fortunate as I.  Or better yet provide medicare for everyone.The USA's health care system is total shit.  A same-aged friend is one of those.  He has lived a life rich in travel and experiences. He has worked hard his entire life.  He deserves to enjoy these final years in rest and ease.  

    I am very proud of my wife and I that we have planned and saved such that we are financially independent; and, that we may pass along a financial legacy that is as profound as the ethical and moral legacy that my wife has given the kids.  *wink* I find that being elderly is freeing. I give zero fucks what others think of me.  I only care that I am demonstrating to my kids and grandchild that they can count on me through the good times and the bad times.  Nothing else even registers on the radar anymore.  Fuck the social convention of "always be contributing and productive."  I don't owe society a damned thing.

    As an introvert, I find that people now want to spend time with me (since I now have so much of it).  I am horrible at saying no and drawing boundaries in this area.  Usually I am surprised that anyone wants to spent time with me.  I try to be curmudgeonly, but apparently I suck at it, or people just ignore it.  I make an exception for my kids.  I am at their beck and call anytime day or night. And I gladly savor every minute in their presence.  But the statement by Thoreau, " I have never found a companion as companionable as solitude" sings to my very soul.  I am happiest when I am alone.  But now, I am infused with a sense of peace that I cherish.  Ridding my life of the anxieties of the workaday world is better than I had even hoped. Have always looked forward to retirement. Now that it is here it is even better than in my dreams.  My mental health has not been this good since I was a youth.  And good for me! 

The begining of the end.

 It is Monday.  The last Monday before I retire. I have looked forward to this day since I started my first day working.  Many people take jobs because they find something they love doing; and they get paid to do it.  Others take jobs just for the paycheck.  I took jobs because it was the only way I could get to not having to work ever again.  I hate working with, and for other people. I have never been comfortable in the work-a-day world and am glad to be getting out of it. I am lucky. My spouse retired for years ago at 51 years of age.  Pretty early I know, but she began teaching at 21.  So she labored for 30years doing something she was extremely good at; and also loved to do.  I have spent 32 years doing something I am competent at. Now I get to go live my life completely on my own terms and without the anxiety and stress of working for someone else's benefit.  

We are financially independent. We have saved and rid ourselves of all debt.  We are very comfortable and can enjoy the fruits of our joint labors.  Looking forward to being a full-time grandpa and dog walker. TO think... the wife and I may wake up after 5 am any day we like.  We can drop what we are doing in an instant to help our family. We can just sit on the back patio all morning and watch the sun rise if we choose. Freedom.  Real freedom to live life completely on our own terms.  

I wish the same for everyone.  Life is hard.  An unfulfilling job makes it that much harder.  Retire as soon as you can and just live each day like it is Saturday for the rest of time.

HH =)

Wasting time..

 Sittin' on the dock of the bay...  I am on the final three months of work. I simply have lost all of the fucks I used to give about my job.  It has become repetitive, banal, and jejune.  I know nothing has changed from the job that I have savored the past 30+ years.  But, it has been my dream for so long to retire, and it is so very close, that my brain is just going through the motions and attempting to bend space-time such that it can be done tomorrow. It ain't done.  The cold weather and extraneous minor stressors turn the anxiety into pain.  It is quite literally painful to wait. 

I chatted with an old friend yesterday that I hadn't seen in a few years. He retired a little over a year ago.  He looks healthier than I have ever seen him.  Put me a little further into the darkness.  Patience is not my virtue.  Quiet solitude is my vice. Being forced every workday to socialize, meet deadlines, pacify ignorant co-workers, just making the effort is annoying to me now. I am lucky... financially the wife and I have achieved independence.  We have more resources than we can ever spend.  Our future is as assured as it gets.  The paycheck in exchange for compliance and time is no longer a profitable enterprise.   My time has become infinitely more valuable to me; and I wish I could just trade my last months salary to be free right now. Alas, my stupid need to fulfill my commitments keeps me voluntarily bound and chained.  A prisoner who's jailer is himself.  The proverbial cell door is open and unlocked, and I stand inside the cell angry that I don't choose to walk out.  I am the dumbest person you know today.   

60 more work days, 12 more: Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays.  Whining over.